An open letter to my stash:
This is very difficult for me to bring myself to discuss this with you. When we first began together, you were no more than a few skeins of grey/white rag acrylic destined to be a boat neck sweater. Look at you now! All grown up and blooming out all over.
A small box on one shelf in the bedroom closet used to be enough for you. Now, that closet is completely full, you’ve moved into and taken over my office closet and there are boxes and bins piled high in almost every room I occupy. (except the kitchen, but I know you’ve been eyeing those cabinets over the oven and refrigerator!).
So now, we need to get real.
It appears that exercise alone is not working. No matter how many patterns, magazines and books I buy thinking that one day we’ll turn you, my growing stash, into garments, felted bags, afghans, pillows et al, …. you’re still getting bigger. Even with knitting 2-3 hours a day and completing countless projects for family and friends on holidays and birthdays, …. you’re still getting bigger.
It may be time for a diet along with the exercise. We are just going to have to cut down your intake of merino, silk, mohair and other fibers because you just don’t know how to control yourself. Of course, I’m not helping you much by getting you a fix of lace mohair, fingering weight alpaca and others every week or so, but I’m willing to accept some responsibility for your gluttony.
I know how hard it can be to rub up against the soft, silky cashmere and not be able to stop holding it. I know how difficult the beautiful hand painted colors are to turn away from. But we just need to put some self control in place to prevent you from getting any bigger than you have. If not, it may come to us having to take drastic measures, like sending you away for help. (aka donating).
So what steps can we take?
Should we block the web sites, lose the directions to the yarn shops, and throw away the debit card until you’ve gotten down to a reasonable size? (like maybe only a single room?)
I know this can be difficult and statistics for diets are never good. After all, most dieters grow back all their size within a year. (You know we’ve tried that before!) Therefore, this diet needs to become a way of life for us. Like most addictions, cold turkey doesn’t necessarily achieve the goal. So, we need to control your intake by consuming in moderation.
Now moderation doesn’t mean cutting down to 10 balls of handpainted worsted wool a week, but to think more closely about whether or not I’ll really find the time or a project that’s already planned to use it. Or to be clear, whether or not you really need it!
So let’s begin this year with a resolution to at least begin by avoiding the annual Cherry Tree Hill Yearly labor day sale on everything in stock knowing that the darn Jumbo Loop Mohair sheds like crazy and I’ll probably never get to making anything with that before the weather gets warm again anyway. We also need to keep away from the Yarnmarket.com latest additions page, because you know you can’t bring yourself to pass up those Italian cashmere desserts! Also, don’t forget! You need to stop clicking on “Add to Cart” when you’re browsing elann.com’s latest monthly specials on Peruvian alpaca because you just can’t walk away from a great deal!
Remember, we’re in this together! I’ll do my part to help you with your willpower. We’ll get through it!
Your devoted knitter,